So a few nights ago I had a dream. I won’t go into all the details (mainly because I don’t remember most of them), but somehow I woke up with the impression of “Happily ever after in the key of B Major.”
It sounds like one of those ideas that makes perfect sense in a groggy, half-asleep state of mind, but then once you’re fully awake you realize how ridiculous it is. But just stick with me, okay?
First off, let’s just acknowledge that “happily ever after” is a tired expression that mainly applies to Disney fairy tales. While I believe it’s possible to live a happy life with another person for as long as you live, expecting no conflict ever is silly. If you watched a movie like that you would be bored out of your mind.
Second, I know I’m the least qualified person ever to write about relationships, having never really had one. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m talking about or that I have nothing valuable to contribute on the subject. (I’m actually very opinionated, but I’ll try to spare you my ranting…)
So. “Happily ever after in the key of B Major.” It’s kind of a fitting analogy if you think about it. Just because there’s a “happy ending” (i.e. wedding – which, by the way, is really only the beginning of the story) doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing forever, much like a satisfying resolution in B Major still has a gajillion sharps (okay, only five, but it feels like a gajillion!). Yet we don’t cease to enjoy the music because there are so many sharps; rather, the music sounds much better and much “happier” with them, just as the ups and downs of life and love keep things interesting and can help us appreciate our blessings instead of taking them for granted.
It’s all a matter of perspective, really. For example:
I remember being terrible at my B-major scale on the trumpet the first time I started prepping for All-State Band auditions. Every time it came up in my scale flashcards (yes, I was THAT kid…), I would grumble about how I hated it. But then I decided I would start telling myself I liked B Major, and you know what happened? I got better at it!
See? Perspective! Nothing changed except my attitude toward the scale. With over half of marriages today ending in divorce (seriously, that’s TERRIFYING), maybe we as a culture need a shift in perspective. Our society as a whole seems to obsess over weddings but ridicule marriage. (Ever heard the expression “ball and chain”? I swear, if my future husband ever calls me that, things are gonna get real ugly real fast!) I don’t claim to have a solution for this. But I can tell you that you will be exponentially happier if you choose to see the good instead of focusing on the difficulties of life.
My prayer, should I ever get married, is that we will love the music more than we dislike the sharps.
[June 3, 2013]